So I am officially back in bham. After a whirlwind and somewhat stressful west point graduation, I went back up to Wellesley and moved all my things into Casa basement. Then I spent two wonderfully relaxing days with my senior friends whom I already miss and can't imagine navigating my last year in college without. Our evening at the ZA patio was memorable for sure.
And after leaving and finally getting on the road, it hit me that I only had a year left and I was overwhelmed by a strange pang of saddness. Three years ago, I wanted nothing more than to transfer and I was so happy anytime I was not on campus. And now, two years later, my breath still gets taken away when I walk behind tower and look out over the lake, or come back from a dinner at a professor's house, or realize what an amazing group of women I have as support. I have made so many mistakes these past three years and I can't say I have really excelled at anything in particular but I know that there will never be a time in my life again where I will get to be surrounded by so many like-minded people who I can be completely myself around. And while I am dreading the hard work of this summer and spending my last summer in Birmingham, I cannot wait for what senior year brings- I will be reunited with Slee and Eleri and cannot wait to hear about their adventures, I will be RA of casa, I will be turning 21 in Boston (really no better place for that in the US), Kate and I will be working at the pub( or I should say I will be working for Kate at the pub), trips to visit Langdon in NYC, and there are so many fun senior ZA events. Classes are going to be awesome since we had first-pick as seniors and I will be finishing my major.
I entitled this post "Limbo" as a reference to pergatory- which is exactly where I feel that I am at this point. I wish there was some magical wand to make this summer, with classes and MCAT be over, and I could be moving into casa and going to RA training tomorrow. The adults in my life tell me to live in the moment and all that jazz but its so hard to live in the moment when I just want this time to be over so badly. Its like I am just waiting to go back home- after a year away, my actual house even feels foreign..when we walked in last night, we had to dismantle all the alarms and turn the water and cable back on and I had to locate all my storage items...so it literally felt like invading a stranger's home. I woke up this morning and filled several boxes with old clothes, stuffed animals and knick knacks that I wanted to give to Goodwill- I just had this overwhelming needs to cleanse.
This rambling post is also my attempt to say to all the graduating seniors in my life that I love and miss you all so much! You have made a huge impact on my life and I cannot wait to see those of you who will be in Boston and NYC. I never thought I would ever be nostalgic about wellesley or that I would even have these incredibly tight-knit bonds and I am so happy that I have experienced this but it makes saying goodbye that much harder.
